


Prank War

by claroso



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M, Pranks, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23086747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/claroso/pseuds/claroso
Summary: The genius tactician of the Ylissean army faces off with the Shepards' bullheaded, front-line fighter. Or, how Fae and Vaike became friends.
Relationships: My Unit | Reflet | Robin/Wyck | Vaike, My Unit/Vaike, Robin/Vaike
Kudos: 3





	1. The First Shot

Fae leaned back against the tree trunk, the prickly bark biting through her thin clothes and into her skin. Her hands were already cover in sap from the climb up. Luckily, she had left her tactician's coat at camp before setting off on this particular mission, knowing that she couldn't have anything tripping her up. 

Panting from her run from the stream, she clutched the bundle of clothes to her chest and scanned the forest floor below her. In the distance, she could hear bushes rustling and frantic cursing. She smiled. Just like she planned. 

A man ran just underneath her branch, completely naked. 

She wolf-whistled. "Looking good, Teach!" She called.

"Fae?" Vaike looked around wildly. "Is that you?" 

She snapped and fire leapt into the palm of her hand, illuminating her hiding spot. "Hey, hot stuff." She said, grinning widely. "What's the rush?"

Even in the dim light of the forest, she could see his face turn white. He quickly dove behind a nearby bush. "Gods damn it, Fae, what the hell are you doing?" 

"Me?" She shrugged. "I'm just minding my own business. A better question would be, what the hell are you doing?" 

He poked his head above his hiding spot. "Well, I was having a bath--you know, down by the spring--and, uh..." He grimaced. "These ladies appeared outta nowhere and starting pointin' and laughin' at poor Teach!"

"Oh no, that's terrible!" Fae gasped. 

"I reckon they were gettin' revenge for those times I... accidentally spied on 'em. Anyway, I ran back for the shore and my clothes were gone! And then Sully's horse--" 

"Wow." She interrupted, holding out the bundle of clothes for him to see. His jaw dropped. "Y'know, I thought these looked familiar."

"Fae!" He shouted, his face red. "Give those back!"

She dangled the clothes down from her perch, just above his head. Vaike jumped up and tried to grab them, the bush just barely covering his crotch. 

"Y'know, I think there's a word for this situation, Vaike." She said, waving the bundle just out of his reach. "What is it....hm, its on the tip of my tongue...ironic? Is that the word?" She peered down at him. "Vaike? Is it ironic? Is that what this is?"

He glared up at her, arms crossed over his bare chest. "So this was your idea, huh?" He ground out. "The girls down at the stream, getting that demon horse to chase me up here?"

"You catch on fast." She smiled. "Don't--"

She was cut off by a nearby bush rustling. Turning, they saw Stahl on the other side of the clearing, looking back and forth between them.

"Hey, Stahl, buddy!" Vaike called out. "Could you help the Vaike out here? I need--"

"Stahl." Fae said over him, in a deathly calm voice. "Just walk away."

He looked between them for another long moment, turned on his heal, and walked out of the clearing. 

"No gods damned loyalty, anymore." Vaike mumbled, then looked up to her. "Alright, do you want an apology? Is that it? Fine. I'm sorry for spying that one time. Now, give me my clothes!" 

"Yikes." She tutted. "Pretty lackluster there, Teach."

"LOOK--"

She put her fingers to her lips and whistled a high note. A loud neigh echoed through the forest. 

Vaike's face went ghost-white. "You bastard." 

"Takes one to know one, hot stuff." She grinned. "Better start running."

He took off toward camp, Sully's horse following not far behind. Fae laughed at the shriek that followed. Another plan, perfectly executed.


	2. A Volley in Reply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vaike gets even.

"Alright, everybody ready?" Vaike asked. Three heads nodded back in unison, one much less certain than the others.

  
"Yeah," Kellam said hesitantly. "But what do we do if this backfires?"

  
"Backfires? What do ya mean?" He demanded.

"You've got a good arm, Kell." Chrom said, patting his shoulder. "You'll be fine."

"I'm not worried about hitting the target, I'm worried about what happens after." He replied. "I mean, it's Fae. She's going to get mad, really mad."

"That's for sure!" Donnel chimed in, grinning.

Kellam frowned at the farmboy. "Why does that make you happy? That's a bad thing."

"Look, big guy." Vaike said. "Don't worry about that. I'm the one she's gonna be mad at, okay? She won't even see ya."

He sighed. "Fine."

"Now, y'all got everything?" They nodded and held up their chosen weapons. Donnel and Chrom had a slingshot each, and Kellam a full wine skin. "Alright, just wait for my signal!"

He jumped up and trotted off through camp until he was outside Fae's tent. Waiting until he saw all three of his partners in crime get into position, he cleared his throat. "Fae? Hey Fae, it's Vaike!" He called out.

"What?" Came the demanding voice from inside.

"Can I talk to you out here for a sec?" He listened to her rustle around in her tent for a minute. Then two. Well, ignoring him was just the sort of super mature response he expected from their lovely tactician. Fine. He sighed loudly. "Fae, I came over to apologize." He said.

The tent flaps flew open and Fae poked her head out. "Excuse me?"

"Well, I've been thinkin'. The Vaike's caused ya a lot of grief." He shrugged. "I feel bad about it."

"It's not like you to be so introspective." She said, stepping further out.

"It happens once in a blue moon. So, I'm sorry." He held out a hand. "Friends?"

"Well, this is mature, especially for you. I'm glad you saw sense." She smiled smugly and shook his hand. "I think when you look back on this later, you'll be glad it happened. You should use this opportunity to grow and--"

Whatever she was about to say next was cut off by two wet splats of brown gunk to either side of her face. She stood, frozen, as it slid slowly down into the collar of her fancy coat.

He cackled. "Hope ya like pudding, sweetheart!"

"What?!"

Grinning, he stepped back and looked over her head. She turned and looked up just in time for a wine skin to crash into her chest and explode.

Pudding dripping from, well, everywhere, she whipped around and pointed a finger at him. "You absolute bastard!" She screamed. Jagged lines of yellow light began spiraling around her hand.

Vaike winked and took off running through camp. Energy crackled behind him. An burst of force and thunder crashed past him, knocking a tent end over end. Gods, even if she killed him, it'd be worth that stupid look on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Robin is not a dainty Robin, nor is she particularly nice. Not that I don't love the conventional depiction of the character, but I have a lot more fun with someone who's an unrepentant asshole.


End file.
